The Power of Dreams

I remember one day at school, a friend of mine told me "where there's a will, there's a way." I also clearly remember the first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where the lead character's motto was "life is short." She goes on saying that it is "not original [...] but it's true. [...] Seize the moment. 'Cause tomorrow you might be dead".

These two quotes are roughly what I have been living by since I was 10 years old. The moment I set my sights on something, I achieved it and I didn't worry about what other people thought of me. I didn't even stop to consider whether I was doing the right thing or not. I was on a mission and that mission was achieving my dream. It was and it still is the reason why I wake up every morning. However, I do not believe that there is one dream to be achieved in one's lifetime. No. There are many. Once, my dream was to work for Fox. I started my career as a production coordinator in sports media. I liked sports, I liked journalism, it totally made sense to me. Even though it wasn't the job I ultimately wanted, I gave it my all and learnt a million thing about me and where I wanted to go from there. I was very pragmatic and I knew I couldn't just knock on Fox's door right out of college, I was never a fool. Optimistic, sure. Aggressively enthusiastic, you bet. Unrealistic, never. So I put my head down and kept on working hard all the while trying to find a path to my ultimate destination. Patience and motivation paid off and when it was finally time to fulfill my dream, my drive and my resourcefulness won the day. I was in. I did accomplish my dream and reveled in it for some time. Then came the time to move on and fulfill another dream. Perhaps this can be called something different, like life goals, but it is what drives me and help me get as close as possible to my kind of success.

When I was a student, my only driver was that abstract need of being good in school. I believed it would get me to where I was supposed to go even though the destination was completely unclear. I stopped at nothing to be the best, even though it came out as narcissistic and psychotic. I did not have any friends, I was bullied and I ate most of my lunches in the bathroom. Even so, I didn't want to understand why this was happening to me and I was not inclined to change who I was just to please others. In my mind, they were the ones missing out on all the fun of tough assignments and surprise tests. I was also brash, selfish and intolerant; some of the blame can ultimately be shared. However, I never backed down or retreated to the average way of doing things. I kept moving forward to University, realizing my dream of studying in an English speaking country.

Having grown up in the smallest town imaginable in rural France, this was an achievement I was very proud of. I studied for a time in Australia and finished my studies in England. All these aspirations came right out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This horrendously dubbed TV Show opened my eyes to a world of possibility. It introduced me to US entertainment and the beautiful English language. It taught me self-esteem and perseverance. The latter is so very important, especially for women in the industry I am working in. In my opinion, there is no finer trait than perseverance. It will carry you to where you want to go, it will keep you up at night studying for finals, it will introduce you to your ugliest weaknesses and force you to grow. Fighting for your dreams requires perseverance as it makes you patient and makes you tough. I would have never been able to find a job in this industry without perseverance.

I wouldn't have been able to move to the United States without perseverance either. I remember having dinner with my parents when I was 12 and telling them, very solemnly: "mom, dad, I want to go live in California." Both of them looked at me like my classmates usually looked at me. I thought about it constantly for four years and they finally sent me to America for my 16th birthday. I came back for a few internships but there was no clear path for me to move to the USA as immigration is a nightmare. So I waited for my time to come, always keeping my eyes wide open for any opportunity that would form on the horizon. Hope started to glimmer when my partner's company mentioned they were looking for someone in Los Angeles. He was qualified for the role and I lobbied hard for him to make it happen. It was the hardest, most stressful and harrowing time of my life. Immigrating to a country that does not want you through a company that does very little to help you get there is extremely distressing. However, I persevered. I spent hours rewriting immigration letters and a thousand more hours following up on status and paperwork. This is the only reason why we are now living in California.

I felt very aimless and drained of aspiration after moving to the US. I had achieved such a feat that there was not a lot of time left to think about my career and what my next dream could be. When I finally sat down and asked myself those questions, I realized I had just been stalling. I stopped moving forward towards my dream career because I didn't know what it was anymore. I kept taking the easy way out and the path of less resistance. And this is not me, not by a long shot. I realized that I needed to find my drive again, and I did. Unfortunately for me, I decided that I wanted to use my skills and experience to make something I was truly passionate about: video games. That's unfortunate, because, well, I have no degree in anything remotely related to video game design and even though I have worked in entertainment, game marketing and technology, this technically does not qualify as "having shipped a game." Who would have thought?? I obviously couldn't get my foot in the door the usual way as I was not fresh out of college and was definitely not willing to negate all the skills and experience I had accumulated throughout the years. So I reached out to some of the people I admire and regard as models and asked for advice. I worked tirelessly, every night, on my resume and my cover letters. I learnt additional skills and signed up for an online course. I did everything I could to give myself an edge and try and compete with professionals who had been in the industry for years. There were a lot of resumes sent. There were not a lot of responses.

When I thought I would have to settle for something that wasn't quite right but could potentially be the start of a parallel path, I received a call that, undoubtedly, changed my life. I was going to be a video game producer. The ideal role I was so desperate to find. Someone decided to be open-minded and was able to look at my resume in its entirety and catch a glimpse of the type of individual I was. I remain confident that this person wouldn't have been the only one. I do believe that with perseverance and patience, someone else would have come along to validate my aspirations. Turns out, I was right to go after my dream and the hiring manager was right to be flexible. I am a damn good producer. And part of this is due to me being qualified and right for this job but most of it is due to having fiercely persisted and pressed on to get to where I am. I won't just give 100%, I will give 200%, ever single day, because you can't be laid back about something you have craved for so long.

Hope never gets you very far, and I will never give a meaningless advice like "never lose hope." Sure, lose the hope. Trade it for hard work and for perseverance and for focus. Trade it for strength and for patience. Never give up. There are many things outside of your control and these things should be acknowledged and understood but the rest, every single other thing in your life you have control over, should be your bitch.

My dreams are back and are more alive than ever. I love what I do and I am the happiest when I am at the office, knowing that I am allowed to do what I worked so hard to get. The ultimate dream is still a long way away but I know I can make it there. I am on the right path, learning, growing and should this dream never be fulfilled, I would have been the most grateful, the most driven and the most enthusiastic participant of them all; because I made the most out of this beautiful journey, always looking ahead with big bright eyes. And should I fulfill this dream of mine, I surely will write again, this time, about how I became an Astronaut. I am pretty sure they have space walking seminars at Bioware.

Watching YouTube for a living - How It Makes Me Feel

For starter, I should acknowledge the fact that I have a great job. Who wouldn't be happy watching videos all day? Right?
I have built my career around content and even though I started in Television, I was always a lot more interested in new media and new video technology so going the digital route made sense. (Hopefully one day I'll get to work in the video game world). However, I have no talent. I am no writer or producer. I have no imagination. I am not an engineer or a tech person either. What I do have though, is a sharp critical mind that spots what works and what doesn't. That's the reason why I am an editor.

Being a content editor in the digital space is very rewarding but at the same time frustrating and a little overwhelming. There are so many great creations out there that it is very tricky to do a perfect job. Also, there is popular content on the forefront of this business that, to an editor's eye, shouldn't be there. I live for the days I have to curate and edit content from Scott DW but I very much dread having to watch Seven Super Girls' episodes. In full. Like, the whole thing. I watch a wide breath of content every day and not only does it sometimes shocks me to know millions of people are watching this below average content, it makes me feel totally inadequate.

Here I see thousands of people who have the drive and the talent to create something out of nothing and become successful at it. Even if most might not have the PewDiePie numbers behind them, they still get great pocket money out of it and most importantly, they have fun doing it. I always found myself to be a hobbyless person but working on YouTube content totally highlighted that fact even more. And should I have any, I wouldn't know how to turn one of my passion into something lucrative. I do not have that mindset of an entrepreneur. I love video games so I am going to try and work for a developer one day but that's really all I can do. I am not going to have a successful gaming channel or write a story or crazy things like that! To me, these YouTube creators are more than just talented at what they do, they are fucking builders. They are extremely resourceful and driven and that is something I envy. Am I more boring or less charismatic than most of these people? I don't think so. But I do not have that instinct of creating something and making an idea come to life. This is extremely frustrating to me and it always was. My dad was a business owner and built a little empire. I could never do that. I am sure I have exploitable skills and knowledge to make a business successful, but I just do not have the vision.

Working on other people's vision is what I am destined to do I suppose, and I should just be happy with that. However, everybody strives to be relevant and have purpose in life. The YouTube and Digital stardom phenomenon shifted that quest in a weird, virtual, instant gratification direction and made me feel even worse about myself. I am an expert in my field and I should be proud of that but I hope one day I will be able to visualize something of my own, anything, that I can make into reality.

Dragon Age Keep: "Print your Tapestry option" reaction

Was there something missing from my grown ass woman's house walls? You bet there was: a Dragon Age Tapestry!

Bioware just came out with this new #amazing feature for the Dragon Age Keep: printing your own tapestry. I realize, as I am typing this sentence, that it is not OK for a 28 year old to write this. It wouldn't make any sort of sense to any normal person out there. However, it does to us Bioware crazies and addicts and super fans.

I have already voiced my love for Dragon Age's distinct aesthetic and beautiful recognizable drawings and they have made these available in the past through their store. Today though, they make it possible for fans to print their very own story and very own art. I mean #mindblown.
To me, Bioware already signified  engagement, individual and personal stories and visceral attachment to my customized world, but today, they took it to the next level. Most people will not see the appeal or the significance I do in this small feature. But to me, this is Bioware staying Bioware, and it means a lot in the wake of Mass Effect Andromeda's release later this year. Dragon Age Inquisition has come and gone but they keep bringing these little tokens to us, immersing us consistently in the universe and bringing the universe into our real (sucky compared to DA) life. This is constant, sweet and welcomed fan servicing at its best. I could go on and on about this but all there is to say is thank you Bioware for being the most awesome game developer of our time and keep being you forever and ever.

Planning a wedding - Cats or Video Games?

My boyfriend of 7 years asked me to marry him last October and I was the happiest person on earth. I was so excited to finally get to plan my very own perfect day. Over the 7 years  I have been with him, I have collected multiple idea boards and inspirations. And even though I knew I didn't want anything too cheesy and over the top, I knew I had to add personality to this special event.

The only two things my fiance and I share are our love for cats and video games. However, adding a touch of either these themes in a wedding can very quickly turn into a HUGE disaster. I first had to choose between the two and even though video games consume my soul and have such an important place in my life, I cannot deny my visceral and physical attachment to my cats. First of all, they're living beings. I appreciate the fact that Iron Bull and Shepard are basically part of me but I would throw away my console and all my games forever in a heartbeat if it meant having one minute with my cats. So the latter was chosen as the thread for our big day. 

The theme is obviously not "cats". That would frankly be a little sad. The theme is basically country Americana: there's a lot of burlap and lace, mason jars, galvanized buckets, chalkboard, pies, grilled cheese sandwiches, all that stuff. However, little things were personalized to accommodate our passion for our furry babies. First, the ring pillows. We have custom made pillows with the drawing of our cats' faces on them. They're huge, they're definitely NOT ring pillows. But who cares. There so personal and funny. This is one item you can really go crazy on because it can really be anything. When the video game theme was still a possibility, I was looking at a controller pillow, that would have been cool too. 

Another small item that doesn't look corny if you make it your own is the cake topper. You can do whatever you want with that. I saw an awesome topper that had two little people playing on a console, that was super cute. I went for wooden cats! There are four of them, two big and two small ones. They basically represent my fiance and I as well as our two kitties. This is perfect. Guest books are also another item couples can have fun with. It can and should be anything that you will keep in your home forever. We chose a cat shaped chalkboard. This is great because we'll be able to display it in our house and actually look at it for a long time. You can really get any shape you want so it's easy to match it to any theme or personal passion. The last item we used cats for are our favors. It was really really hard to find a cat themed favor. This would have been much easier to go with video games on this one! I ended up finding a small cat soap that is perfect. It also has an apple pie scent, which makes it the ideal gift for our wedding.  

I wanted to share this with you because I love wedding planning but it sometimes gets very overwhelming and it makes me feel better to talk about it to someone other than my fiance. There's only so much wedding planning a man can handle!  

Week of 2/8 Youtube Videos to Watch

Hey guys,

So most of the viral and digital videos this week were Super Bowl commercials. URGH. I had to dig deep to find you these nuggets of gold. You’re welcome.

Week of 2/8 DiFi Videos to Watch

ENTERTAINMENT: Trying to put their React World debacle behind them, the Fine Bros (Fullscreen) released a new episode of Kids React. They have a sub category of react videos that are for toys only and this one is about Furbies!

This is why I love animals and hate kids (apart from the little girl in the green shirt below, she’s going to rule the world someday, she kind of looks like me from far away so she’s fine)

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ENTERTAINMENT: As you all know, Youtube has launched an SVOD service back in October and released the first batch of original programming this week (among them is Scare PewDiePie: not good, believe you me). This is a clip for their original feature film (by Rooster Teeth - Fullscreen) called Lazer Team. Interestingly, the comments, likes/dislikes and view count have been disabled on every Youtube Red promotional videos. This was a very good idea.

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NEWS/EDUCATION: Premium Publishers and News sites are doing extremely well on Youtube these days. This week, VOX had a very popular and relevant video out on the platform about the NFL Yellow Line. Perfect timing and great reception for their most viewed video since November.

ENTERTAINMENT: Screen Junkies (Defy Media) are obviously famous for their Honest Trailers series but there are many other great videos produced by their team that are less mainstream, or shall I say nerdier. Here is one for whoever is going to see Deadpool this weekend and wants to know a little more about this (awesome) character. I am going to the movies this weekend. I am dressing up as Deadpoolette, it’s an actual thing.

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TRAVEL: The French Embassy would have scolded me should have I not shared this with you. This is an episode of Laughs in Translation, a travel show hosted by comedian Brooks Wheelan on the Above Average channel (Premium Publisher). The latter has a lot of views but not many subscribers even though the production quality is a lot higher than many of its competitors.

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GAMING NEWS: You guys need to watch Mortal Kombat X: Machinima’s Chasing the Cup on the CW Seed. This is such a great example of what TV and MCNs can accomplish together. It also shows that gaming and eSports are becoming a lot more mainstream and people are interested in the community a lot more. There are clips available on the CW Seed and extra content on each competitor. I am rooting for BioHazard, he’s cute and sensitive, but he plays Ferra Tor so that shows a grittier and manly personality. Who will be your favorite?

SXSW Gaming Awards - Vote and vote well

I am all about gaming awards. For some reason I get really excited by them and really frustrated when my favorites do not win. Last year, DAI pretty much won everything and I was really happy with that, in my opinion, they deserved it. 2015 was a much more diluted year for gaming in terms of quality and style that it's a lot trickier to find a clear champion.


I loved that the categories started with the Excellence in Art because I had a clear and easy winner in mind. Who would give this to anything other than Bloodborne? Even though I kept dying like a loser and got frustrated, as I usually do, the art and design were absolutely beautiful and most of all, striking. Just Cause 3 was only nominated for Technical Achievement award but I couldn't give it to them because Fallout 4, Metal Gear and Until Dawn were in the same category. The only award I would give Just Cause 3 is the "Physics Don't Matter" Achievement. Visual Achievement was also an easy pick for me because Battlefront totally slayed the visuals. The fact that the locations and the visuals used were all well-known  and close to everybody's heart made the feat harder in my opinion. Funnily enough, with all the shit that I gave Life is Strange, it was nominated a fair bit for the SXSW Gaming Awards. I really played this wrong, I apologize!!! Anyway, I would be a hypocrite if I chose this game for the narrative award so I went with The Witcher because it was a pretty damn good storyline and the dialogue didn't include sexting (I am not letting this go). Sound Effects went to Battlefront for me, again, because of the familiarity and their ability to stay true to their source.

I suppose the most debated one will be the gameplay award but to me Metal Gear Sold V had to take this. There was no other game this year that made complex mechanics feel fun and exciting. When I saw the Online Personality award, I was just looking for PewDiePie because, who else! Luckily, he was nominated and I chose him without even looking at the other people. For some odd reason, I love his personality and he makes me laugh every single time, so it goes to him! He totally needs it too. Then came the Game of The Year award with four very strong games in the running: Fallout 4, MGSV, The Witcher III and Bloodborne. I have to take Bloodborne out just because its universe was too niche and its gameplay far from accessible. My heart will always favor RPGs, that's just a fact. However, this year, I felt like one game did everything right, and it was Metal Gear Solid V. In short, it gave me character development, awesome customization, a puppy, complex missions, fultoning and many other quirks that made this game replayable, challenging and entertaining. I missed the soul of MGSV in Fallout 4 (mostly because I cannot click with Bethesda's style of storytelling, it's very dry to me) and I missed the quirkiness of MGSV in the excellent Witcher.

Who are you going to give your vote to?

Dear Fat People - and why I loathe America

First off, let me tell you that I am the most pro American person you will ever meet. I love this country and all that it represents. I love the land, the people and the culture. However, after living here for 1 year, I have noticed a couple of things that make me miss my British fellows a lot.

Americans are way too prude and politically correct. Seriously, take a chill pill. I never thought it would be possible to be offended by so many things. Why so serious? The Joker should seriously pay you a visit you guys. This is blatantly obvious when celebrities say something they think and have to apologize ten times. This is also too obvious in the workplace. I hate it. Coming from London and a very inclusive work environment, I hate the fact that I can't joke around with my coworkers and that I can't ask someone I have known for about 6 months if they are gay. To me, these things are just normal and I want to be able to have an open, honest and deep relationship with people I meet, no mater their sexual orientation, religion or what not. I do not care. I just want to be able to talk about it because if you don't, this is exactly when the problems develop and you end up living in this limbo of "should I, shouldn't I" that is way worse. Talking about my gay coworkers' boyfriend shouldn't be offensive, not to my coworker and not to other people who might be around. Having someone on the phone at work saying that "lesbian and gay kids are the problem in our society", yes, that is offensive (the guy who said that was obese by the way, and lazy and mean). Having an inquisitive conversation about someone you like as a person: not offensive.

Then there is comedy. Banter as I call it. That's also not allowed. I personally do not care. I will joke around and pick on you as much as I can. I will poke fun at your age, your religion, your height, your work. I make jokes and I am sarcastic. Are all these based on stereotypes, first impressions and generalization, of course. Something's funny not because it's abstract and a work of fiction, it's funny because there is an element of truth behind it. I am French. Our stereotype: we're lazy, eat a tone of baguettes and are libertines. All true. All not offensive. There obviously are people who are hard working (not many), some that only have 1 sexual partner in their life (unlikely but ok) and some that do not eat baguette (this is impossible). You can make as much fun of me as you want, I will never take offense, you know why? Because I know who I am and I am not threatened by anything one might say.

Now, I am sure everybody has been debating this "Dear Fat People" video from Nicole Arbour. I have to say, this is one of the funniest thing I have ever seen. Everything she says in this video is true and people who are obese, as she clearly says, not just chubby but obese, and eating more than their body weight at every meal need to be made fun of. This is ridiculous. And before everybody comes jumping at me as they did her, don't start about fucking depression and shit. Some people are not depressed, some are just lazy asses who want to eat whatever they want, are greedy, lazy and stupid, that's just a fact. They just don't give a fuck (pretty sure they're the same people who don't recycle and obviously are not vegan). Now, why is everybody so offended by this video? I do not understand. She's right on every single point and I think that's what people cannot stomach. They know it's true but political correctness and bullshit prevent them from being smart. You should be able to make fun of anything and everyone, especially when they deserve it. People who have fun and joke about things are actually the ones that are the less prejudiced and the more open minded of them all. If I joke about gay people it's because I am that comfortable with it (my mom is a lesbian). We should all embrace that, it would make for a much more open, fun and bearable world! Below, the socially relevant, bullshit breaking, incredibly smart and hilarious Nicole Arbour:

The Imitation Game - I am so angry!

My cheeks are still wet of all the tears I shed at the end of this movie. I was sad, obviously, but man was I angry. I can't believe that my History professors spent three years talking about World War II without mentioning Turing. I can't believe that Hollywood waited so long to tell that incredible story. I can't believe I haven't heard about what actually happened to this brilliant man until today. What the hell?

This story is so inspiring on so many level but mostly it made me angry at how stupid and short sighted people were back in the days. I mean, I knew that homosexuality was a crime but I surely didn't know it still was in 1952. I seriously do not get what the hell was wrong with people. Why would they care about who someone who saved 14 million people fucks in his spare time. Who the fuck cares? Nowadays, young people picture homosexuality and bullies through fucking Glee. Watch The Imitation Game.

I am so angry and sad for Alan Turing, I wish he would have been there to help the computing science research, he might have accelerated the creation of computers and more. He might have had the chance to stare at a computer screen at some point. I really wish he could have seen it. I wish he could have found happiness again after losing his first love. One of the most intelligent and gifted and brilliant man on the planet didn't even experience joy and happiness as he deserved. I feel sorry for the human race when I see a movie like this. But I feel great too. It made me smile to see Turing and his team get what they needed to do for Christopher to crack Enigma. I was so happy when I also understood it because I do know how computers work, funnily enough. I also saw Benedict Cumberbatch giving it his all as Alan Turing and I feel like nobody else could have this intensely portrayed him.

But mostly, what I saw is the most important rendition of the human evolution castrated by stupidity and fear. Can you imagine if that man had been able to adopt a child or keep teaching at university, can you imagine what he could have transmitted down the generations? Can you imagine everything we missed from his incredible mind because we put social expectations and rules first? This is ludicrous. Same thing for poor old Joan. Because she was a woman, she wouldn't even be awarded a degree. How many women throughout the years could have been great scientists or engineers and could have advanced the human race, help progress. We will never know. Just because we decided that women should stay at home with a bunch of kids. URGH. I am glad that it is obviously not the case anymore but I am very angry that it did exist and that in some countries around the world, it still does. Anyway, this is not news but movies like these tend to remind me of the obvious.

As Turing mentioned, people enjoy violence and there will always be fools, bullying either homosexuals or awkward kids who are just smarter and different than them. These kids should be protected no matter what. The bullies aren't the future of our nations, the awkward kids are. It's nice and sweet to think that we can teach people how to be tolerant and understanding - and it might happen with time - but as it doesn't happen in a flash, I urge anyone who sees someone being bullied to stand up and punch the bastard in the teeth. Thank you.

As a final thought, is it me or do the worst thing always befall the most productive members of society? Like Stephen Hawking, seriously, is it a bad joke? Who cares about an animal shooting hilly billy in North Texas, give HIM ALS. Not Hawking. Arrest a beer drinking Manchester hooligan instead of bloody Turing! This world's not fair. Not fair at all.

An introduction - Dragon Age Inquisition or My Latest Drug

So I am totally late and I do not know why I didn't start this little "essay" before but I guess I was just too busy playing the game 3 times in a row.

I need to start from the beginning so here is the story behind this game. I have obviously played Dragon Age: Origins and the first installment in the series was actually the game that brought me back to gaming, back to holding a PS controller. I didn't play for about 5 years while I was in college and when I settled down and had time after work to do whatever I wanted, I found myself wanting to play and find another way than the repetitive TV shows and restrictive movies to escape. I had been a fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer since I was 10 and the show helped me surround myself with confidence and fight the boring and tedious aspect of life for a long while. But to be honest, after 13 years of watching Buffy kick ass, sleep with Spike and giggle with Xander, I needed something else. I needed something I could truly immerse myself in as an adult and it seemed like a game would do the trick.

I picked up Dragon Age because I was and still am a sucker for fantasy. Elves, dragons, mages and all that weird stuff we have no real idea who spawned them, that's my jam. Also, you could create your own character and I was eager to do just that. Create an alternate self that would be prettier, more badass, would have fascinating adventures, epic fights and exciting romances. I had played many other RPGs like the FF series or action/adventure like any other casual gamer but I never ever got passionate about them or even replayed them. And I picked up Dragon Age: Origins. Even though I bought the game about 3 years after it came out, I didn't care that the graphics were not up to date and that the mechanics were a bit clunky. I was wielding swords, changing outfits, flirting with Kings and laughing my ass off at every line of banter happening between what I came to consider my good friends.


I went to buy Dragon Age II straight away and I suppose I was foolish enough to think that my whole gaming life will be wait free. RIGHT. So here I go, starting a new adventure with another female lead, but who funnily enough can as effortlessly be me as the Hero of Ferelden. And even though I do not find a man to fall in love with in this new Scooby Gang, I still enjoyed my time in Kirkwall. And so I waited for the 3rd game. I waited. And I tried other RPGs in the meantime. Disappointments after disappointments. I won't say they were not good, they were very much enjoyable for what they were but none of them made me feel this involved and this connected.

For some reason, I always shied away from shooters. I always preferred swords and in general, close combat. Must be the Buffy in me. I was extremely reluctant to try Mass Effect. Even though I knew the developer was Bioware, I thought that the combat system and the "space adventure" not being fantasy would put me off. Holly cow was I wrong! How much more badass than Shepard can it get!! I now know that everything Bioware does is absolutely brilliant. I am surely biased. Not every Buffy episode was amazing but I do not give a dusty fuck about one aspect of this most brilliantly written and inspiring character not being perfect. So before everybody comes at me with the fact that Mass Effect 3's ending was below par I say just don't. Seriously don't. Mass Effect was grand. It was again an epic story with a powerful heroine that I completely fell in love with. A heroine that inspired me to tackle life more decisively and never give up.


Then I had played the whole trilogy and I was left with nothing  6 months ago. I had to wait for Dragon Age: Inquisition, watch trailers, stalk the devs and writers on Twitter. Try to get my fix any way I could. I was unemployed for about 4 months because we moved from the UK to California and when DAI came out and I was able to play, this game felt like a cozy childhood blanket, like a partner I didn't see for years and was reunited with. I was so happy to see Varric again. His one liners are still the best and even though I am not Hawke in game, I am Hawke. And we know each other. What I felt so good about was that I was back in a world I knew and cherished. I had lived through the events of Kirkwall and had forged my very own opinion of the conflict unfolding before my eyes. I was, am and will always be the Inquisitor and my choices reflect my real life beliefs and nobody else's. This is my game. This is my world. I didn't know this world was so vast however! Not only is DAI absolutely huge but after beating the game, I delved into more than just the most popular rendition of that world.

I bought a book. I do not read often. I read Buffy Comics. That's the extent of my reading prowess. I am devouring this DA book which depicts the events happening in Orlais between DA2 and DAI. And it's again excellent. Even though I cannot put much of myself in a book, being able to reenter this world where I shaped so many things and fell in love with so many people is just plain comforting. I am reading about Briala and Empress Celene and meeting new people who I adore and who have the wit and charms I came to expect from DA characters.

DAI has obviously won many awards and most (smart) people agree that this game is genius in every way. I am not going to go on about the absence of flaws in this compelling piece of content but because content is what I work with on a daily basis and have been exposed to since my youngest age I feel like I have to put this out there: I am obsessed with the depth of the DA world, the genius of its story and the attractiveness of its cast. As a person, I am not very good at being myself and at knowing who I am, which is I believe a curse on the human race altogether. Bioware games give me purpose, give me a sense of self which I do not get in the real world. They also provide a well rounded, fully interactive escape which is missing from any other game or any other medium. I dare you to give me an example of a story where I can create a female character looking just like me, explore the world with my friends cracking jokes by my side, romance, have sex and even break up with a handsome knight, fight with the strength of 10 dragons against an almighty enemy, craft my own fashion pieces and if I please, talk like an evil bitch to everybody I meet. No other piece of content is as empowering and compelling as this. None. None content.

Creating a brand like this where people can go back to every time they feel scared or bored and lonely is very smart. Marvel is doing it, DC tries to do it. Everybody likes to feel part of something bigger. But what Marvel doesn't have is that almighty inclusion of the self in its stories. You might have a huge crush on Thor but unfortunately you can't have a conversation with him and choose to be pummeled by his hammer. The romance aspect is so important. I am guessing it is much more so for female gamers and I am definitely not ashamed of it. I do believe that a good story always has a good romance in it. It just makes things more dramatic, the stakes are higher. I have fallen in love, literally, with Alistair, then Fenris, then Kaidan (multiple times), then Garrus, Cullen, also multiple times and the Iron Bull.

Of course DAI has more than a gigantically intriguing lore and epic romances. It's stunningly beautiful, it provides exploration galore and there are plenty of dragons/monsters to slay. But any developer can do that. Look at Destiny, look at Skyrim. They have all of that. They have none appeal for me. They lack the story, they lack the characters, they lack the panache. I hope Bioware keeps making games exactly like this, with a great world, a great heroine, a great story, great companions and great romances. I need them to. I wish they would grow the DA and Mass Effect world and keep building stories in them. But I trust them with a brand new world too. I trust them to create more fantastic personalities and epic struggles until I die. Some people might think I am a nutcase and I do not have a life. I actually have a pretty great life. However, I am not afraid to say that humans are ultimately hollow and in constant search of something more. Right now, Dragon Age is my something more. It's everything.