The Power of Dreams

I remember one day at school, a friend of mine told me "where there's a will, there's a way." I also clearly remember the first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where the lead character's motto was "life is short." She goes on saying that it is "not original [...] but it's true. [...] Seize the moment. 'Cause tomorrow you might be dead".

These two quotes are roughly what I have been living by since I was 10 years old. The moment I set my sights on something, I achieved it and I didn't worry about what other people thought of me. I didn't even stop to consider whether I was doing the right thing or not. I was on a mission and that mission was achieving my dream. It was and it still is the reason why I wake up every morning. However, I do not believe that there is one dream to be achieved in one's lifetime. No. There are many. Once, my dream was to work for Fox. I started my career as a production coordinator in sports media. I liked sports, I liked journalism, it totally made sense to me. Even though it wasn't the job I ultimately wanted, I gave it my all and learnt a million thing about me and where I wanted to go from there. I was very pragmatic and I knew I couldn't just knock on Fox's door right out of college, I was never a fool. Optimistic, sure. Aggressively enthusiastic, you bet. Unrealistic, never. So I put my head down and kept on working hard all the while trying to find a path to my ultimate destination. Patience and motivation paid off and when it was finally time to fulfill my dream, my drive and my resourcefulness won the day. I was in. I did accomplish my dream and reveled in it for some time. Then came the time to move on and fulfill another dream. Perhaps this can be called something different, like life goals, but it is what drives me and help me get as close as possible to my kind of success.

When I was a student, my only driver was that abstract need of being good in school. I believed it would get me to where I was supposed to go even though the destination was completely unclear. I stopped at nothing to be the best, even though it came out as narcissistic and psychotic. I did not have any friends, I was bullied and I ate most of my lunches in the bathroom. Even so, I didn't want to understand why this was happening to me and I was not inclined to change who I was just to please others. In my mind, they were the ones missing out on all the fun of tough assignments and surprise tests. I was also brash, selfish and intolerant; some of the blame can ultimately be shared. However, I never backed down or retreated to the average way of doing things. I kept moving forward to University, realizing my dream of studying in an English speaking country.

Having grown up in the smallest town imaginable in rural France, this was an achievement I was very proud of. I studied for a time in Australia and finished my studies in England. All these aspirations came right out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This horrendously dubbed TV Show opened my eyes to a world of possibility. It introduced me to US entertainment and the beautiful English language. It taught me self-esteem and perseverance. The latter is so very important, especially for women in the industry I am working in. In my opinion, there is no finer trait than perseverance. It will carry you to where you want to go, it will keep you up at night studying for finals, it will introduce you to your ugliest weaknesses and force you to grow. Fighting for your dreams requires perseverance as it makes you patient and makes you tough. I would have never been able to find a job in this industry without perseverance.

I wouldn't have been able to move to the United States without perseverance either. I remember having dinner with my parents when I was 12 and telling them, very solemnly: "mom, dad, I want to go live in California." Both of them looked at me like my classmates usually looked at me. I thought about it constantly for four years and they finally sent me to America for my 16th birthday. I came back for a few internships but there was no clear path for me to move to the USA as immigration is a nightmare. So I waited for my time to come, always keeping my eyes wide open for any opportunity that would form on the horizon. Hope started to glimmer when my partner's company mentioned they were looking for someone in Los Angeles. He was qualified for the role and I lobbied hard for him to make it happen. It was the hardest, most stressful and harrowing time of my life. Immigrating to a country that does not want you through a company that does very little to help you get there is extremely distressing. However, I persevered. I spent hours rewriting immigration letters and a thousand more hours following up on status and paperwork. This is the only reason why we are now living in California.

I felt very aimless and drained of aspiration after moving to the US. I had achieved such a feat that there was not a lot of time left to think about my career and what my next dream could be. When I finally sat down and asked myself those questions, I realized I had just been stalling. I stopped moving forward towards my dream career because I didn't know what it was anymore. I kept taking the easy way out and the path of less resistance. And this is not me, not by a long shot. I realized that I needed to find my drive again, and I did. Unfortunately for me, I decided that I wanted to use my skills and experience to make something I was truly passionate about: video games. That's unfortunate, because, well, I have no degree in anything remotely related to video game design and even though I have worked in entertainment, game marketing and technology, this technically does not qualify as "having shipped a game." Who would have thought?? I obviously couldn't get my foot in the door the usual way as I was not fresh out of college and was definitely not willing to negate all the skills and experience I had accumulated throughout the years. So I reached out to some of the people I admire and regard as models and asked for advice. I worked tirelessly, every night, on my resume and my cover letters. I learnt additional skills and signed up for an online course. I did everything I could to give myself an edge and try and compete with professionals who had been in the industry for years. There were a lot of resumes sent. There were not a lot of responses.

When I thought I would have to settle for something that wasn't quite right but could potentially be the start of a parallel path, I received a call that, undoubtedly, changed my life. I was going to be a video game producer. The ideal role I was so desperate to find. Someone decided to be open-minded and was able to look at my resume in its entirety and catch a glimpse of the type of individual I was. I remain confident that this person wouldn't have been the only one. I do believe that with perseverance and patience, someone else would have come along to validate my aspirations. Turns out, I was right to go after my dream and the hiring manager was right to be flexible. I am a damn good producer. And part of this is due to me being qualified and right for this job but most of it is due to having fiercely persisted and pressed on to get to where I am. I won't just give 100%, I will give 200%, ever single day, because you can't be laid back about something you have craved for so long.

Hope never gets you very far, and I will never give a meaningless advice like "never lose hope." Sure, lose the hope. Trade it for hard work and for perseverance and for focus. Trade it for strength and for patience. Never give up. There are many things outside of your control and these things should be acknowledged and understood but the rest, every single other thing in your life you have control over, should be your bitch.

My dreams are back and are more alive than ever. I love what I do and I am the happiest when I am at the office, knowing that I am allowed to do what I worked so hard to get. The ultimate dream is still a long way away but I know I can make it there. I am on the right path, learning, growing and should this dream never be fulfilled, I would have been the most grateful, the most driven and the most enthusiastic participant of them all; because I made the most out of this beautiful journey, always looking ahead with big bright eyes. And should I fulfill this dream of mine, I surely will write again, this time, about how I became an Astronaut. I am pretty sure they have space walking seminars at Bioware.

Has anyone seen Alistair McNally's shirt?

When Alistair McNally is trending on Facebook, you know something HUGE is going on. The Bioware Director said he wore a t-shirt at GDC 2016 which had the developer's new IP on it. You gotta be kidding me. It seems like nobody noticed and there is no record or picture of said shirt anywhere on the bloody Internet. Also, I can't believe his tweet only got 164 likes so far.

Now, let me tell you something that you already know: I am a crazy motherfucking Bioware fan and any news about a new IP is earth shattering. However, that is just cruel. I need to know what that shirt says, what logo it displays or what picture it shows. There will never be enough Bioware IPs on this planet and I just know it's going to be great so I really cannot wait for some real news. The thing is that I really didn't expect any sort of information on this IP for a long time so now they have me pumped up. I hope it wasn't a mistake on Alistair's side. I really hope he's not going to get a slap on the wrist for saying something because it means it wasn't on purpose and we won't hear anything about this IP for a long time, as predicted. If it was a stunt and they actually mean to reveal something in the next couple of days, brilliant. Let's do that. Let's DO THAT PEOPLE!!!!!! 

If you find a picture of the shirt or happened to have been present at GDC and remember the culprit, share far and wide!!!

Watching YouTube for a living - How It Makes Me Feel

For starter, I should acknowledge the fact that I have a great job. Who wouldn't be happy watching videos all day? Right?
I have built my career around content and even though I started in Television, I was always a lot more interested in new media and new video technology so going the digital route made sense. (Hopefully one day I'll get to work in the video game world). However, I have no talent. I am no writer or producer. I have no imagination. I am not an engineer or a tech person either. What I do have though, is a sharp critical mind that spots what works and what doesn't. That's the reason why I am an editor.

Being a content editor in the digital space is very rewarding but at the same time frustrating and a little overwhelming. There are so many great creations out there that it is very tricky to do a perfect job. Also, there is popular content on the forefront of this business that, to an editor's eye, shouldn't be there. I live for the days I have to curate and edit content from Scott DW but I very much dread having to watch Seven Super Girls' episodes. In full. Like, the whole thing. I watch a wide breath of content every day and not only does it sometimes shocks me to know millions of people are watching this below average content, it makes me feel totally inadequate.

Here I see thousands of people who have the drive and the talent to create something out of nothing and become successful at it. Even if most might not have the PewDiePie numbers behind them, they still get great pocket money out of it and most importantly, they have fun doing it. I always found myself to be a hobbyless person but working on YouTube content totally highlighted that fact even more. And should I have any, I wouldn't know how to turn one of my passion into something lucrative. I do not have that mindset of an entrepreneur. I love video games so I am going to try and work for a developer one day but that's really all I can do. I am not going to have a successful gaming channel or write a story or crazy things like that! To me, these YouTube creators are more than just talented at what they do, they are fucking builders. They are extremely resourceful and driven and that is something I envy. Am I more boring or less charismatic than most of these people? I don't think so. But I do not have that instinct of creating something and making an idea come to life. This is extremely frustrating to me and it always was. My dad was a business owner and built a little empire. I could never do that. I am sure I have exploitable skills and knowledge to make a business successful, but I just do not have the vision.

Working on other people's vision is what I am destined to do I suppose, and I should just be happy with that. However, everybody strives to be relevant and have purpose in life. The YouTube and Digital stardom phenomenon shifted that quest in a weird, virtual, instant gratification direction and made me feel even worse about myself. I am an expert in my field and I should be proud of that but I hope one day I will be able to visualize something of my own, anything, that I can make into reality.

Week of 3/7 YouTube Videos to Watch - Let's have a Giggle!

Hey dudes and dudettes, 

I compiled some funny stuff for you this week so be prepared to laugh (you better)! Some of the below videos are from pretty established YouTubers but some have a much smaller audience which shows the digital platform is truly filled with amazing content in every corner.

Hope you have a good time with these!

COMEDY: F-Comedy is a small channel with comedy sketches and other funny bits. They have less than 30,000 subs but they recently attracted a lot of people with their new video: Make Your Face Great Again – Trumping. I mean, who doesn't like a good beauty how-to am I right?

COMEDY: Smosh really doesn’t need introduction. Their recent video is obviously popular and pokes fun at the HGTV show and trend “tiny house”. I love HGTV with a passion but I am sure if they'd watch it, they'd fine it funny too. 

ENTERTAINMENT: Anybody interested in table top or video games know Geek & Sundry. However, some people might know the channel/website because of the remarkable Felicia Day (Supernatural, Buffy The Vampire Slayer. We really should be best friends). They create a great mix of content and recently picked up “Riftworld Chronicles”. The below video is a sneak peak of the whole episode that can be found on their website. This is high production value, great acting, hilarious and very special if you like video games or just fantasy lore.

ENTERTAINMENT: Good Mythical Morning’s presenters are huge YouTube stars and present a really cool show every week day. Their latest is about Fallout Shelters and it’s great! They probably should have released that in November with Fallout 4...

COMEDY: Nuclear Family is again one of those smaller comedy channels with potential. Their latest sketch is called “Your Favorite Movie Characters Gender Swapped” and is fitting with the ongoing Hollywood sexism conversations. Also, it's very good. 

EXTRA VIDEO (Not Funny) - COOKING: Tastemade has created a very cool cooking docu type series called HERITAGE. The 10min show focus on chefs’ personal stories and inspirations. It’s really beautifully made and this episode follows a cool chef who boxes on the side! I mean, he's not a vegetarian but I guess he's still a catch. 

Why I might change my mind on THE DIVISION

I have pretty much made my mind about The Division and I was very much set on not buying it and not playing it. I still won't buy it, but I might be more open to playing it now.

When I first heard about The Division and saw the beautiful and intriguing teaser, I was very excited about it. However, after learning that this was basically a Destiny look-alike, I bailed. There are only a few things that I will outright reject when it comes to video games but one of them is definitely "being anything remotely similar to Destiny". MMOs have their qualities but I have only found a few that really managed to keep me interested. So while I was being myself trying to ignore all The Division related news or information, I think I have missed on some crucial details that would have changed my mind a while ago should have I given it a chance. For some reason, I was a lot more open minded today than I usually am and brought myself to watching an IGN Plays Live session featuring The Division. After all, I am supposed to know what I am talking about so I thought I would at least confirm my disdain. Well, I kinda wanna play it now. Shame on me for having prejudices! Of course, the game looks stunning. There's just no denying that. It's a pleasure to look at. I was more surprised by what the game actually felt like. It seems to me like the RPG features are very prominent and it is not at all, like I thought, a true shooter game. It is an RPG and they stayed true to the genre. This means a lot more customization, story driven quests and mechanics. It also looks pretty simple to meet players and team up for missions, which comes in handy when you're not a 15 year old boy.

Of course, I wasn't able to assess the narrative complexity or the supposed controversial leveling system but this game looks fun. A lot more fun that I thought it would be and a lot more fun than I had with Destiny. I am not sure it will break the curse of me being interested in an MMO for no more than 7 days, but I sure hope it will. I am actually looking at buying a gaming PC to enjoy more of those types of games because I believe they have a lot to offer once you give it a try. I am going to stop being a little intolerant and prejudiced brat and do exactly that with the Division: Give it a try.

Are you guys going to buy it? Rent it? Do you think it has potential? If not, what's your favorite MMO? Let me know!

Let's Play NEPTUNIA VII - Didn't expect this!

I was not familiar with the Neptunia series before picking up Megadimension Neptunia VII so I really didn't know what to expect. The game came out in February in the US (in 2015 in Japan) and I thought I would give it a try. As everybody knows, I love a good RPG and I am a sucker for female protagonists so when I saw that this game was basically a female fest, I went for it whole heartedly. I am usually not a fan of Japanese games but it did look good in the trailer so I had to try it. (I have been a long time fan of Final Fantasy though, until Final Fantasy XIII).

The whole thing is pretty straightforward and simple. This is a turn base combat RPG with some degree of crafting, customization and strategy. The levels are very linear and there is close to no cinematic or animation. The whole thing is told through drawings. Mind you, they are very pretty and appealing drawings. I actually loved the concept art A LOT.

The style is very anime and recognizable but they did it really well, with popping colors and distinctive designs for each characters. The latter are very cool. Some of them are whiny and slightly annoying but that is part of the tone of the game. They were never Final Fantasy XIII Vanille annoying though. Their voices were just super high pitched and they talked like they were Valley girls (however, I very much appreciated the dubbing quality). Apart from that, they had great personalities, cute outfits and very neat combat animations. There are two things that really surprised me in Neptunia VII. 1) The story is amazing. Granted, it has a Power Rangers feel to it with mega monsters destroying cities and the girls morphing into "superheroes" but the meta aspect of this game is refreshing. I am not sure if the series always broke through the 4th wall but I thoroughly enjoyed that. The world is called "Gameindustri" and the girls are "CPUs". They also often talk about the fact that they cannot die because they are the protagonists and the fact that they need to talk to the writers about things they don't like. I really enjoyed that. 2) I got some hints of cheekiness in the first lines of dialogue but I just thought it was my filthy mind. Well, it was not. It was all real. This game is definitely cheeky. The dialogue totally uses double meanings and the girls sometimes shower together, because, tits. The drawings for that part were still amazing, if unnecessary. I just thought it was very funny and unexpected. I am looking forward to more girls showers and pillow fights!

Below is my playthrough of the 1st hour and 1st mission. Unfortunately, the shower scene only came later!! Did you play it? If so, what did you think? I personally give it a 5/5, partly because I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of this game and I really didn't expect it to be that entertaining. Some people who played the previous games in the series might have a different opinion, but having a fresh look at this title, I really didn't want anything more out of it. I had fun, I was intrigued and sucked in Gameindustri, loved the characters and the gameplay. I am off to play some more.